covered in blood and urine

Johanna, after her repeated deaths and/or disappearances, is back in town.  So, last night I spent my last night here in the West 34th apartment with her, and her presence made what could have been a depressing night much more tolerable. 

Today, though, I have to pack up and move the rest of my shit, which turns out to be quite a bit, in spite of my best intentions.  Thank god for friends with trucks, is all I’m saying.  Even with the truck, though, moving my queen size bed across town is going to be an adventure.  I’d consider videotaping it, but then it would take longer than it already probably will.

I may not have Internet for a while at the new place, a reality which I find both liberating and disconcerting.  HOW WILL I CHECK MY EMAIL?  I fear I’ll turn into one of those Internet scavengers, whose first instinct upon entering someone else’s apartment is to ask "d’you mind if I check my email real quick?"   Anyway, if you don’t hear from me for a while and find yourself wondering if I’m dead or whatever, there’s my answer/excuse.

And finally, I’m Amtrak-ing home once again on Saturday night, if only because I felt the need to use the voucher they gave me for my last clusterfuck of a journey.  I’m almost hoping that this trip goes equally bad, if only to get another voucher for my return ticket.  If I play my cards right, I may never have to pay for another Amtrak ticket again… 

YOU:  Jef, you’re four days late, and you’re covered in blood and urine.
ME:  Yep, but I got my ticket for free!  Can I use your shower real quick?


Not artist-friendly, today’s world. . . but was there ever a world that was?  The conflict between artistic integrity and commercial success seems so much more acute now than it ever has been, almost to the point where "integrity" has become a dirty word. 

The cynic in me tells me that there’s no room for my "vision" in this capitalist gang-bang, that there’s only room for clever commercials and the continuing obsession with the bottom line.  Talent and originality mean so little in a world governed by dollars and cents.  I can cite exceptions, but not many. 

Has this always been the case, or is the increasingly commerce driven world really making art-for-art’s-sake a commodity that is ostensibly a non-commodity?

Even this school that I’m attending is, at its core, a corporation — a corporation that is making an absurd amount of money for a few people by churning out young "artists" into a world that is wholly over-saturated and under-prepared to deal with them. 

I’m not angry, just bitter, but I’m willing to bet that Rembrandt was bitter too, and Monet, and Jose Motos.  Picasso cut his goddamn ear off in an act of pure frustration in an increasingly artist-unfriendly world, and then he died in a mental institution. 

It’s very late, I’m still awake, and I should clearly be attempting sleep.   I think this lip-hair is affecting my brain.

"Black Holocaust Shrine"

I will be moving in the next several days.  To the East Side.  To a deluxe apartment in the sky.  I kid.  It’s actually a small duplex on the ground, right down the street from the "Black Holocaust Shrine."  Location, location, location.  I’m not happy about having to leave my current apartment, but I’ve come to terms with it — the air in a smaller apartment will be cheaper to condition.

My laptop PC of three years has finally started to go senile, and the aspiring editor in me has been forced to buy another computer.  After many weeks of deliberation, I’ve decided to switch to the Mac team.  I’m tired of viruses and spy-ware, I’m tired of not being able to edit because I don’t have Final Cut, and I’m tired of dealing with hard drives of different formats.  These three issues will be solved, and I won’t have to reboot this old laptop every several hours until my head explodes.  I am keeping the laptop, of course, as it still works well enough for Internet-ing and word process-ing, and it’s been all around the damn world with me.  The Mac will be my editing machine, however, and I’ve already signed on to edit two films next quarter as a result of it’s imminent presence.

Speaking of editing, I’m applying for an editing job with the school in a few hours.  Send vibes of goodness, and stuff.

Also, in an effort to look more like a porn-magnate, I am growing a mustache.

The rest is either not terribly important or not terribly interesting.

"I can wait, I can wait"

I Don’t Think I’m Ever Going To Figure It Out ~ Elliott Smith

kenny brown

My name is kenny
brown.I am in my early age of 50s and i am an european . I come to the
states and europe often mostly for business purposes cos i deal mostly
in jewellry. I supply watches,bracelets,wedding rings and jewellry to
stores in the states and europe .Infact that is my family business cos
we are from Switzerland. I bought a house last year in ,GEORGIA  cos i
love it there .It is peaceful and with a loving neighbourhood.
Unfortunately my father passed away on the 2nd of january 2006 and as
the only son in my family i have to go and take care of the family
business back in Geneva Switzerland and i realised that it will be very
difficult to supply goods to my clients again in ,GEORGIA while am away
and it will definitely cost me a lot to come over to receive payments
cos they pay mostly in checks and money orders .So to run the business
from there it will be difficult and will be impossible especially the
aspect of payment and i dont also want to lose my clients or customers
there . So what i intend doing is that i am looking  for some one to
stay at my house free of charge  .
I dont want to sell the house cos i just bought it and i will have all
the rest papers but i have ALL the keys now. I am simply looking for
someone that is honest and trustworthy and clean for two reasons 1. to
maintain the house when i am away and 2.To help me receive payments
from my clients within ,GEORGIA on my behalf in his/her name and have
it cashed cos they pay mostly checks and money orders and have the
funds wired to me here in Geneva,switzerland thru money gram
transfer/western union transfer . you dont have to pay me a dimme for
the accommodation. its just for the purpose of keeping my business
going on in ,GEORGIA  and if you wanna keep this assignment as a job
let me know so i can allocate 5% on each payment that you receive if at
all you dont wanna live in the house or if you are far from the house..
The house is a great one with clean
bathrooms,walk in closet,A gym ,All rooms and living room furnished
with electronics . If you want i can email you more pictures and if you
are interested i will send the keys to you via courier so you can go
and see the house. It is a very lovely house and there is no way you
wont like <!–
D([“mb”,”it.If you are interested in handling my business in ,GEORGIA and keeping the house neat, please send me your full name and address with your phone number..I am back in geneva Switzerland.
Email to






Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.\n



you are interested in handling my business in ,GEORGIA and keeping the
house neat, please send me your full name and address with your phone
number..I am back in geneva Switzerland.
Email to 

Where is the house located?
As in have told you about My house.. Its a 4 bedroom flat in
central denver with all utilities in there.. I am only been concederate
to make someone live in the house for free and take care of my business
as well…  I will have loved to give you the exact address of the
house but the last time i gave someone the address they broke into the
house and alot of things were stolen also the front door was destroyed
which made the house insecured… I will be comiming to the state very
soon then i will take you the house if you are willing to live in there
and  take Good care of the house and handle my Business with
Trust.After the death of my father i realised that everything under
this world is vain..  i am presently in switzerland due to the recent
death of my father so i have relocated cos i have to go and take care
of the businesses.All you have to do about the business is just to
receiving payment from my client and earn  5% commission from each
payment you receive from my client. The payment which comes in money
Orders and checks… Also it comes via bank wire Transfers provided you
have an account in which this could be done..  I have some clients
which i dont wanna lose, they have been my client for long and i wil
not want to lose them at all. let me know if you can handle the payment
as this will be the 1st Trust text before i handle the keys of the
house to you as a sign of trust.It will be issued in your name so all
you do is get the payment  take to the bank for funds deduct 5%
commission and send it to me thru money gram transfer or Western union
then i can get it in switzerland or anywere i am .i have some payments
coming in this week from a  recent sale so if you will be abl to go
this  do email me with your full name,address with phone numbers to
accept the payments and get it done for me asap . All i need is your
sincerity and deligence in working with me and staying in my house.
wait to read from you asap.
Keep In touch.

In central Denver?  Hmm…  I was looking for a place in Savannah, Georgia.

You’re beginning to sound like a scam artist.





The house is located
in savannah area. one of my ciment is ready in your name andyour
address .and i dont wnat to loss my customer. i will want you to
provide me with your information .

  keeo in touch
Where exactly in Savannah is the house?

Hello, how are you  doing? hope fine .the house
is in mid town. so you can provide me with your on formation cos one of
my cloent is reday to amke payment in your name and your address.


keep in touch.
Hello, Kenny…

WOW!  "Mid town" sounds very convenient!

What kind of information do you need me to email you?

I understand that the house is very nice, but I was wondering if it
would be ok if I used it for my brothel and drug-dealing businesses.
The girls have all been tested, and are generally very clean — I could
put tarps down on the furniture and floors if it would make you more
comfortable.  As for the drugs, I mostly deal in crack and ketamine,
and I rarely let my clients "use" on the premises.

Please let me know what you think, thanks!

~Jef "Money-Time" Taylor




how are you doing
today ?i am so happy to read form you.i need your  full name,contact
address and your phone number, cos one of my client is ready to make
payment in your information.and i dont want to loss my customer.they
are very vital to me .


As in your business
well it is okay so far they can take care of my house . and i want  to
know more about the your business.[drug dealing].
Hi, Kenny!

I am doing very well today, thank you!  How are you?

am so happy to hear that you will let me use your house for
prostitution and drug-dealing, you don’t know how many potential
landlords frown on one (or both!) of these businesses. 

Before we "get down to business," however, I feel that it is
my duty to inform you that there may be some violence and/or police
action related to my line(s) of work.  The truth is, I must move as
soon as possible, as I have some clients who were not entirely
"satisfied" with the "level of service" my prostitutes were willing to
provide.  Also, one of my prostitutes died recently of a drug overdose
(ironic!) and may or may not be buried in the backyard.

Long story short:  I doubt the police will contact you, but if
they do, I need your word that you won’t provide them with my contact
information before I give it to you.  Give me your oath of honor, and I
will trust you to the grave.

Hope you are having a super Monday! 

~Jef "Mad Dog" Taylor




are you doing today? well i know you deal in all stuffs of drugs , but
i do come to the states occasionally to inspect my house. if it is
sealing a oath of honour you want , i will do that for you. …I
want you to understand something that i dont want you to mess up my
house , i want everything you will be doing there be a secret.dont let
to many people to know about it cos i dont want the police to  impound
my house  .i will let this a secret between us.DEAL!!!


now you can now send me your information.

Hello again, Kenny…

I appreciate your oath, but I don’t think
I will be able to guarantee that I won’t "mess up" your house.  Running
a whore-house is, as you can imagine, a messy business, not to mention
the potential messiness of drug dealing.  Usually the stains are
limited to the furniture, but occasionally they can get on walls and
floors.  I will do my best to keep your house clean, but I can’t make
any promises to that end.  What I can do, however, is to offer you free
drugs and sex whenever you come to visit — it’s the least I can do for
a trusting and understanding man such as yourself.

As for your request of secretiveness, you have nothing to
worry about there.  I’ve had people killed in the past for "violating
my privacy," and I think most of my "clients" got the message.

Let me know if this still seems ok, and I’ll send along my information ASAP.

~Jef "Blood Stainz" Taylor

Its okay by your email.. All you said is really
understanding… its good you told me all these now.. Well, just try to
make sure the house is taken care off the best it can.. I know its
gonna be messed but just make it okay.. Not totally messed. So email me
your details as well.. can i be part of the drug thing? I can be ..
Depending on you okay.


I wait to read from you.
keep in touch.

Hey, Kenny…

Bad news.  My current
whore-house/drug-dealership was the victim of another (!!!) drive-by
shooting last night, and as a result I have been forced to flee the
Savannah area and temporarily set up residence in Augusta.  Three of my
prostitutes were also — I think — shot dead in the kitchen, along
with one of my clients. 

I’m in real big trouble with a lot of people, Kenny.  I need
help from a friend like you.  Maybe you know some people here in
Augusta, or at the very least know somewhere I can lay low for a few
weeks.  Remember your "oath" to me and please help! 

(I have yet to hear back from Mr. Brown.)

"coincidental cosmic perfection."

Yesterday, I got stung by a wasp on the set of a movie called WASP.  An occurrence such as this can be interpreted in several ways, but I’m going to go with something like "coincidental cosmic perfection."  In doing so, I have made all the stinging and swelling seem meaningful and worthwhile, as opposed to just painful and annoying.

First time, by the way, with the whole "getting-stung-by-a-wasp" thing.  It hurts, but not nearly as much as I’d been lead to believe.  People like to exaggerate pains to people who haven’t experienced said pains, which brings me to the whole issue of childbirth. 

Should I be happier?

I guess things are going well.  I’m not unhappy, but I’m not overwhelmingly happy, either.  Should I be happier?  I don’t even know anymore.  Probably, though.  Probably I should be happier.

I’ve been working as the A.D. on my friend’s senior project for the last few days, and will continue to do so for the next several.  It’s been a relatively fun and stress-free project, although I think this is primarily due to the location — a beach-front mansion and pool-house on Hilton Head.  It’s ridiculous, truth be told, and it makes me want to be obscenely wealthy, begrudgingly.

I also found an apartment to live in after my lease at this place is up at the end of the month.  Not nearly as nice as this place, but I don’t know that I’m going to be able to find a place as nice as this for the money ever again.  This place = capital "P" phat.  I’m going to miss it, fo’ shizzle.  At least the new place has central air and a washer/drier, for to wizzle my clizzles.

I got nothin’ else.  I’m tired and I should go to bed, but I will not. 

taken to napping

I like there to be a name with the number on my cell phone screen. Too many unlabeled digits is bringin’ me down. And I’m tired of being creative. And I’m tired of reading the news. But there’s gunshots in the alley in the back, four… black man, white wife beater, walked between two houses and towards the park. This weather is making people crazy and full of drugs, and it’s only so long before something pops. The other night I watched a city council debate on the broken street light problem plaguing the historic district. Apparently it all comes down to money. I’m tan with a bad haircut, and I’ve taken to napping.