"de-activate" my pants

Yesterday afternoon, an employee at the Barnes & Noble in Westlake offered to "de-activate" my pants.  I politely declined, and this seemed to upset the employee.  It is impossible to make everyone happy.

Last night I tried to start a fire in my parent’s fireplace, but I ended up filling the basement and laundry room with smoke.  I frantically tried to extinguish the fire with beer, however the abundance of fire-starters I had ignited made this an impossibility.  Eventually some panicked running with buckets of water killed the fire, and I left a note of apology and explanation for my parents.


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