The line sucks.

A question I often get from new people goes something like this: “So… Jef with one-f?  What’s that about?”  My response to this question usually involves a combination of the story about when and why I dropped the second f (college, superfluity/pretense) along with a bon mot (oh my) about how “Jef Taylor” gives me higher Google results than “Jeff Taylor” or “Jeffrey Taylor,” which is a good thing for an artist trying to get his name out there.

Yes, I’ve covered this issue before, but it’s becoming more acute lately, so I’m covering it again.  Bear with.  Or don’t––just navigate away from this maddening repetition so I can post compromising stories about you.

I want people to read this blog but sometimes I don’t want anyone to know it’s me.  I have some fun and entertaining stories of late that I simply can’t post on here because the internet is a surprisingly small place for a one-f Jef.  I don’t understand how people walk this line, but lately I walk it by posting lots of pictures, imagined (or not) dialogues, and complaints about the line itself.   The line sucks.

So, it would seem that removing the f from my name has resulted a Catch-22 of sorts, part of which goes like this:

“You must make decisions,” Major Danby disagreed.  “A person can’t live like a vegetable.”
“Why not?”
“It must be nice to live like a vegetable,” he conceded wistfully.
“It’s lousy.”
“No, it must be very pleasant to be free from all this doubt and pressure,” insisted Major Danby.  “I think I’d like to live like a vegetable and make no important decisions.”
“What kind of vegetable, Danby?”
“A cucumber or a carrot.”
“What kind of cucumber?  A good one or a bad one?”
“Oh, a good one, of course.”
“They’d cut you up in your prime and slice you up for a salad.”
Major Danby’s face fell.   “A poor one, then.”
“They’d let you rot and use you for fertilizer to help the good ones grow.”

~Joseph Heller

Obsessive readers would recall that I did post that passage a few years ago, but I pretty sure I’m the only obsessive anything around here.

Finally, here’s your goddamn photograph…

Jef-Sitting.jpg

Jeff

…back when I had two-f’s.