ignore my condition

The sun is coming up, which means that once again I have been up all night editing, this time working on the second of two music videos for the band NICKCASEY, both of which are premiering next Sunday at The Living Room (a music venue on the Lower East Side).

Times like this I usually ask myself why I work like this––anxiety-ridden procrastination broken by manic bursts of work, usually necessitating a final extended manic burst of work as the deadline nears.  I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, and for a variety of reasons, but with editing I’ve realized that I bring a whole new set of neurosis to the table.  I feel like the hard work and time and money that everyone has put into this (or any) project comes down to me, and I take that (perhaps too much) to heart, and it paralyzes me creatively.

I’m also somewhat of a perfectionist, which doesn’t help, either.  Nor does the fact that I’ve come to the conclusion that I do my best work in these all-night manic bursts, which––true or not––is not healthy and needs to be tempered somewhat.

My point, if I have one, is that I’ve only recently come to understand my work-habits in this way, and (as we all know) understanding is the key to something-something.

Something-something like change.

Here’s a song that occurred to me while writing this:

      In The Morning – Built To Spill