Things I did in the aughts:

• lived in ten different places
• got a master’s degree
• successfully lived with a cat
• ate dog
• dressed up in a bee costume
• taught English to Korean children
• fell in love four times
• ate roasted grasshoppers in Bangkok
• bought a boat
• sold a boat
• touched the Western Wall
• shed my fish allergy
• became an award-winning filmmaker
• became a published writer
• had a gun pulled on me in Savannah
• watched one of my films in a tunnel in Mexico
• struggled to maintain my sanity
• screamed at a giant peanut statue in Georgia
• read the entire Bible
• ate pork in Jerusalem
• made absinthe
• took Arabic lessons in South Korea
• appeared on South Korean television
• appeared on Cleveland television
• worked at MTV
• saw a lunar eclipse in Tucson
• had a run-in with monkeys in Kyoto
• aged ten years

…and other stuff.