"Fascinating."

There was a book sale at Bay Village library today.  I am a sucker for library book sales, so despite the fact that I already have about eight boxes of books in the attic of my parents’ house, I was unable to resist the urge to buy more.  Just…

  • Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee (With a newspaper article from March 8, 1966 about a Cleveland Playhouse production of the play, folded and tucked in the middle of the book.)
  • Report of the Warren Commission on the Assassination of  President Kennedy
  • Communion—A True Story by Whitley Strieber 
  • The Portable Mark Twain
  • Portnoy’s Complaint by Phillip Roth
  • National Geographic – December 1979 (“Seoul: Korean Showcase” on page 770)
  • National Geographic – March 1965 (“Israel—Land of Promise” on page 395)

“The books were fifty cents each, and the National Geographics were free.  Fascinating, yes?”

“No, not really.”

“Oh.”

“Why do you waste our time with this drivel?”

“I’m sorry.  I guess I don’t know.”

“I mean, what’s next?  Your grocery list?”

“Oh, I would never-“

“Wouldn’t you?  We submit that a person who is listing library book sale purchases on his website is only a stones-throw away from listing grocery store purchases on his website. “

“I did go to the grocery store two days ago…”

“Stop.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  Please stop.”

“Because they sure had lots of apples there—it was hard to choose…”

“Stop.”

“…like maybe fifteen different kinds of apples…”

“Stop.  Stop.  Stop.”

“…and almost a whole aisle full of toothpaste!”

“We’re going to stop reading now.”

“What?”

“You heard us.”

“You’re going stop reading?”

“Yes.”

“All of you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s an idle threat.  You can’t stop reading.”

“Watch us.”

“I’m not sure if that’s possible.”

“If what’s possible?”

”For me to watch you stop reading my website.”

“That’s an interesting point.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Are you still going to stop reading?”

“No, you were right.  We were just bluffing.”

“Yay!  I win!”

“Yes, you’re the big winner.”

“In your faces!”

“Ok, then.”

“Ok.”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“So, what now?”

“Did they give you a bag to carry the books in?”

“Oh, yes.”

“What color was it?”

“Blue.  Light blue.”

“And the apples?  What kind did you get?

”Gala.”

“Fascinating.” 

2 comments to "Fascinating."

  • ecs

    Congratulation on your 40,000 visits.
    I have your site in my Favorites list, and I open it from time to time. What can I said, I just enjoy to read your notes. Why? Maybe, because there is something sincerly raw (does it have any sence?)Something that I identify with, but I can’t pin point. I am sure that I am not the only one.
    Meanwhile, I will see if I can get some books also. It helps me with my English.

  • Ryan

    The booksees were fifty cents each, and the National Geographicseessss were freeeeee! Fasssscinating, yes?

    We wantsss it. We needsss it. Must have the precioussss. They stole it from us. Sneaky little Hobbitsesss. Wicked, trickssssy, falssse!

    Oh.

    Yes, precious. False. They will cheat you, hurt you, lie.

    I’m sorry. I guess I don’t know.

    What’s nexssst, Precioussss? Your grocery lisssst? You don’t have any friends! Nobody likes YOU…

    Oh, I would never…

    Wouldn’t you? You’re a liar and a thief.

    I did go to the grocery store two days ago…

    Mur…derer…!

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