Is there a key?

I have been a bit of an emotional mess this holiday season.  There are many culprits, but few solutions.  I’ve been drinking more than I should, I’ve been thinking more than I’d like.  I’ve spent too much time looking forward to this instead of living in the moment, which is behavior that almost always seems to result in disappointment and eventual post-mortem depression. 

And then, she closed and locked the door on our relationship two days before Christmas.  Where is the key, I wonder.  Is there a key?

And then, more than 25,000 people died in South Asia.

But then, I have been seeing and reconnecting with old friends and family.  This is undeniably wonderful, although I find myself always wishing for more profound connections, more meaningful conversations.  Time is passing, after all.  I’ve never felt time passing so tangibly, I can almost feel these moments pass while they happen. 

As I type this I realize that most of the people here who read this will probably find these words to be surprising.  I’ve come to realize that my life in typed words and my life in person don’t often match, and I’m not sure I want them to.  Or, perhaps I do and am subconsciously frustrated at my inability to make them match.      

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